tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
