we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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