I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
