i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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