MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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