But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
