i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
