i don't like sucking hair
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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