so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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