i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize
