I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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