i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My balls are so social today.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
