yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Text me some of your sweat
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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