walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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