she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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