I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
