Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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