when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
