it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Randomize
