Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
