Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
