I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
