Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
