Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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