Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
