I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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