last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Then you guys just all showered together...?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
