and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
