I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
