Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
