Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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