help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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