He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
