he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
