The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
