I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
