i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
