i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
