the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
