You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
