So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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