What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
They have beer where we have blood.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize