her vagine was all disorganized.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
