My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
