I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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