I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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