It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
