you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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