you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so let's talk penis.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
