He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
