sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
please don't ironically join a cult
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
