drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
